It even does that same thing where they introduce a sidekick and characterize them and give them flaws and struggles and then put them on a fucking bus halfway through, to bring back that one boring chick from the first game who now has a consistent pattern of getting together with Drake at the end of every game and splitting up in between them, probably after the adrenaline wears off and she realizes they have fuck-all in common. A lot of Uncharted 3 plays like a point for point rehash of Uncharted 2. Who wants to bet the lost treasure at the end will turn out to have been deliberately lost because there's some negative effect surrounding it that the bad guys want to weaponize? And that Drake will pull off the main villain's face and it'll turn out to be Old Man Withers!īut it's not just a bit formulaic. And by Christ does it show, because these games are getting as formulaic as a Scooby-Doo episode. In one of the behind the scenes featurettes, the developers flat out admit that they think up the spectacular set pieces first and then come up with the plot around them. Now, I've always assumed that the foreign locales in previous games were at least researched to some degree, but now I'm forced to call that into question, because the equivalent of this would be walking into Central Park and seeing a load of Prohibition-era gangsters feeding the ducks by shooting bread out of tommy guns.ĭrake finds a clue that starts him off on a globetrotting scavenger hunt that will end in the discovery of a lost treasure, blah de blah de blah. The game opens in London, with Drake walking off cobbled streets into an English pub with a motherfucking red phone box out the front where every single member of the clientele looks like Grant Mitchell from Eastenders. Or an Australian, because at least then I'll know you're deliberately trying to piss me off. If you do Uncharted 4, please have him murder an American. For fuck's sake, Naughty Dog, I want to be proven wrong on this. I'd like to, but I fucking can't, because now he's after me! From mixed skin colors in Drake's Fortune and Russians in Among Thieves, we're now onto Englishmen being mowed down by the hundreds. But as much as I've joked that Nathan Drake is a one man declaration of war by the United States upon the entire rest of humanity, I'd like to finally move past that. The Uncharted series can generally be relied upon for stirring adventure and impressive set pieces as well as all the racism. But I have to admit, I was looking forward to playing the new one. I've said some mean things about the Uncharted series - like how it's about a smug American cunt so massive that it could use Cleopatra's Needle as a sex aid who remorselessly commits large-scale archaeological destruction without even the level-headed justification of a serial arsonist.
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